CONVERSATIONAL CORNER

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How can LOVE be unhealthy? How can something that feels so good be so bad? And how do you break away from it? I think unhealthy love is when you are in what I call the LOVE VIRUS. It’s a vicious cycle of breaking up and getting back together, breaking up and getting back together only to repeat this behavior over and over again. And, don’t be fooled, we not only can break up with someone physically, we can also break up with them emotionally. Meaning, we are still physically in the relationship, but mentally we have checked-out.

I’ve had love affairs within my own head where a man just happens to reap the benefits of my illusions. For those of you who are saying “what does that look like?” It’s all part of the LOVE VIRUS. It’s a PRETEND love affair, which feels just as good as a real one; it just takes a lot more energy and effort to maintain it. I call that the UMBRELLA SYNDROME. During this part of the LOVE VIRUS, it’s as if you are walking around with an umbrella and it’s not raining, but you THINK it is raining, so therefore you act as if it is! How crazy is that?

So, the next time you find yourself in LOVE, make sure you haven’t caught the LOVE VIRUS and experiencing the UMBRELLA SYNDROME.

AND… ALWAYS, ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. We have to learn to listen to your conscious. If we ignore that little voice within us, the voice keeps softer and softer until we can’t hear it at all.

As I mentioned on the show GOT LOVE? Below are some examples of Unhealthy Love vs. Healthy Love.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Love:

Love: Development of self first priority.
Toxic love: Obsession with relationship.

Love: Room to grow, expand; desire for other to grow.
Toxic love: Security, comfort in sameness; intensity of need seen as proof of love – may really be fear, insecurity, loneliness.

Love: Separate interests; other friends; maintain other meaningful relationships.
Toxic love: Total involvement; limited social life; neglect old friends, interests.

Love: Compromise, negotiation or taking turns at leading. Problem solving together.
Toxic love: Power plays for control; blaming; passive or aggressive manipulation.

Love: Embracing of each other’s individuality.
Toxic love: Trying to change other to own image.

Love: Ability to enjoy solitude by being alone.
Toxic love: Unable to endure separation; clinging.

For the complete list visit: http://lightshifter.com/toxicluv.htm

Until next time, stay true to you,
Charlette